Words Can't Fix Everything
by Artistard3
Summary: Jesse recalls his relationship with Rachel through short dictionary entries. Will you finally get an explanation to why Jesse ended things with Rachel in the way he did? [story told in Jesse's p.o.v]
1. Chapter 1

**aberrant, adj.**

"I don't usually kiss on the first date," you said, after we had spent more than fifteen minutes making out in your bedroom.

"I don't either," I assured you.

Later, it turned out we had both kissed people on first dates before, and we had both found ourselves falling too fast before.

We both comforted ourselves with what we really meant to say, which was: "I don't normally feel this good about doing this."


	2. Chapter 2

**abstraction, n.**

Love is one kind of abstraction. There are those moments when I'm laying in bed, curling into the cold sheets, imagining your dark hair curled around my fingers. That's when I try to embrace the idea of you.


	3. Chapter 3

**adamant, adj.**

You swore that A Chorus Line ran on Broadway for 6,447 performances. I said, no, it ran for 6,137 performances. The way you argued, it was like we were debating the existence of God or something.

We looked it up, of course, and even though you knew that I was right, you told me about other times when you were right and I was wrong. You were very sour toward me for the rest of the night. I thought it was cute, though.


	4. Chapter 4

**ardent, adj.**

You have been singing songs from the entire Broadway catalog since you were two. When I was two, I was still learning how to form complicated sentences.


	5. Chapter 5

**awhile, adv.**

I love the way time can be expressed so vaguely. - _I'll be back in awhile- _that could mean a matter of minutes, hours, days, months, or even years.

I took me awhile to know I was in love with you. You waited patiently. I think you knew all along. You were just waiting for me to catch up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Barbra, n.**

The first time I saw you was while you were involved with Babs.

Our first conversation was initiated with my criticism over your _Don't Rain on My Parade_ performance. I like to think that Barbra Streisand was like a liaison, initiating our first encounter. I am very thankful.


	7. Chapter 7

**beseech, v. **

You begged me to go with you to meet your fathers. They really intimidated me. You bribed me with kisses and your hot breath on my skin and I had to give in. Dinner was wonderful, and your dads actually adored me. Most people do, though.


	8. Chapter 8

**Broadway, n.**

"I'm going to star in three productions on Broadway. If I can't do that, then I guess I'll originate my own roll. I'm talented enough," you told me. I smiled. Yes you are.


	9. Chapter 9

**calamity, n.**

When you finished showing the New Directions your _Run Joey, Run video_, I felt my heart shatter.


	10. Chapter 10

**callow, adj.**

The first time we had sex, you kept apologizing for not knowing what to do. I kept saying that it was okay, but you kept blushing. Eventually, I stopped caressing your body, and I let my rough hands caress your face. I pressed my lips against yours and leaned my forehead against yours too.

"I love you. It's okay to not know. We can learn together."

You weaved your fingers through my curls and kissed me even harder than before. I think I heard you mumble 'I love you'.

I loved you too.


	11. Chapter 11

**candid, adj.**

"I've had sex before."

This was, I admit, a weird thing to say on a second date. I guess I was just trying to give you a warning.

"I'm a virgin," you said, sipping your tea, looking me in the eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

**celibacy, n.**

n/a


	13. Chapter 13

**clandestine, adj.**

It was a Friday when I picked you up. You had been staying after school to rehearse a number from Glee.

The minute you hopped in my car, your crashed your lips to mine. It was surprising, actually.

"I've been thinking about this all day," you mumbled against my lips. I moaned quietly. "Me too."

I thread my fingers through your hair to push your lips closer to mine, but I then you broke apart. You reached your hand over me to the side of my seat and pushed the lever down so that the chair sprang backward. You pushed me down and laid on top of me, fervently kissing me.

"We can't let anyone see us, remember?" You breathed. I nodded.


	14. Chapter 14

**cynical, adj.**

When Rachel asked me whether or not I was spying on her club, I think I froze. I was spying; she was right. But I didn't have completely bad intentions. I wasn't using her to get to her team. I like her.

It sucks that there was no way to explain it. I guess life works out that way; people always get hurt.


	15. Chapter 15

**daunting, adj.**

Rachel could come out and tell me everything about herself, which was a little unnerving. She told me all about her dads and her glee club. She trusted me. I think it was because I was one of the first people that was trying to be genuinely kind to her. At first, I didn't have good intentions. But I really didn't want to hurt her.


	16. Chapter 16

**diatribe, n.**

"You always act so sure of yourself, but really, you're just a conceited liar!" She spat at me after she found out I betrayed her by being in Vocal Adrenaline and egging her.

"I know," I said, taking it. Because she was right.


	17. Chapter 17

**discrepancy, n.**

"Was any of it real, or was it all just some plot to win a show choir championship?"

It was real. I did love you.

"Why would you go and hurt me when I told you I couldn't take it?"

I didn't mean to hurt you.


	18. Chapter 18

**dissimulate, v.**

She thought that I hated her. She thought that I was lying to her the whole time. She thought that singing with her was a plot to get her to fall for me. She thought that I didn't love her.

She thought.

Well, she was wrong.


	19. Chapter 19

**dream, n.**

Her dream was to be a star on broadway. Her dream was to meet her mother. Her dream was to get as far away from me as possible.

My dream was to make her dreams come true.


	20. Chapter 20

**effulgent, adj.**

Seeing her smile made her look like she swallowed the sun.


	21. Chapter 21

**elucidate, v.**

Getting her to explain what she was thinking was never an issue. Not once did I have to pry open her mind to find out what she was thinking. She would always explain, no matter how significant or insignificant her thought were. It was awful, yet, it was the most wonderful thing in the world.


End file.
